The Rafan Electronic Bible 1
E-Bible Archives, Chapters 1-40

Name: KTKOF

Date: Friday, April 9, 1999 at 18:58:40
Entry:

Chapter One



And Barney didst see the guest book and didst se that the guest book was good. And it came down from the heavens unto the frolicking, dancing Rafan children that the "guest book" would now be the...



Official Rafan Web Bible

Number 1.

God didn't know how everything was gonna work out right away, but he figured that Rafans (or anyone) could post messages here, which would either stay here or get transferred to the existing Web Bible link as necessary. God did see that the whole system may get changed around in slight ways now and again, but God thought that would be cool.


Name: KTKOF

Date: Saturday, April 10, 1999 at 01:17:09
Entry:

CHAPTER 2



And the Keeper of Friendship did see that the page had progressed quite well. Rafanism was surely approaching a great era of Inter-netty greatness.



KTKOF also wishes a great Hoo-Ha and A-Fille-Hee-Cat to all Rafans who did mail order for PHISH tickets. May your glorious tickets arrive with haste.


Name: Mirth

Date: Saturday, April 10, 1999 at 09:42:24
Entry:

Chapter 3


And so it was that Al the Keeper of Mirth dids't try to conact every Frisbee-golf playing Rafan and Groupie in his town, but alas, everyone was asleep or not there.

Oh, dids't the Keeper want to play and smoke!

So ends Chapter 3. Hoo Ha!


Name: Ken the Keeper of Friendship

Date: Saturday, April 10, 1999 at 22:34:41
Comments:

CHAPTER 4



The Keeper of Friendship did realize what a funny thing it was to write in the E-bible. First of all, he had become unaccustomed to recording his Rafan thoughts for all other Rafans to see. Of course, a traditional Bible is active, but it is not generally written in on a daily basis.

More than this though, the E-bible is on the inter-net where ANYONE can see it. Now, traditionally, Rafans have been open to anyone viewing the bibles if they wanted to, so I am totally in favor of the electronic media. It's just strange is all I'm saying.



Anyway...

...to brake in the new and wonderful and most holy great and wonderful (ohhh, I said that already) E-bible, I am going to write the

ELECTRONIC SERMON



My fellow Rafans, Rafan groupies, random viewers, I have gathered you here today to talk about electricity. Now you may look at a lightbulb and say, "That, that my friend, is electricity." You may look at lightning and say, "That, my friend, that surely without a doubt, is electricity." But you know, you'd be wrong. For electricity is a greater power and force than we can imagine. It is the force that holds atoms together and the electronic signals that bring the Rafan virtual land to life.

Perhaps we, as Rafans could take a lesson from electrons. Electrons are like great adventurers, pulled by forces beyond their control into swirling systems of sub-systems of sub-systems. Although the electrons can not control their paths, a higher power has designed there path to have meaning.

As Rafans we are like the electrons in the toaster of Barney Christ. Barney sets the darkness to his desired level, pushes on the handle thing, and trillions of trillions of little Rafans rush this way and that in a beautiful pattern. We as Rafans cannot know what the purpose (or purposes) of our many Rafan adventures is (or are), but we can trust in Barney Christ, Agent Jay and the holy Rafan Spirit that they will have meaning that will become clear to us all.


Name: Mirth

Date: Sunday, April 11, 1999 at 12:47:06
Comments:

Chapter 5

And the Keeper of Mirth dids't thank the Keeper of Frienship for his awesome sermon. The new Bible dids't remind Mirth of the days of Rafanism's Birth, where both Keepers were virtually (no pun intended) the only Rafans to write in the Bible. However, like the past, Mirth dids't hope that soon other Rafans would begin to add to this glorious new Bible.


Name: KTKOF

Date: Sunday, April 11, 1999 at 20:31:26
Comments:
CHAPTER SIX
KTKOF did have a slow and boring Sunday. Much homework was done, but the elusive "Rafan party favors" that would have made the day less boring were just out of reach. The Death Fuckers must have been playing their naughty little games again.

Name: Mirth

Date: Sunday, April 11, 1999 at 21:39:53
Comments:

Chapter Seven


And so dids't the Keeper of Mirth console the Keeper of Friendship in his Rafan woes. Cheer up! Someone talked to Saul!


Name: KTKOF

Date: Sunday, April 11, 1999 at 22:52:58
Comments:
CHAPTER 8 yeah


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Name: Barney Christ

Date: Monday, April 12, 1999 at 13:27:21
Comments:

Chapter Nine

And so dids’t Barney Christ come from where he was (he’s a little secretive) and spake in a loud booming voice, "Rafans, your web site is truly neat. I wish that you would have more drawings of other characters than just the Snooze and Coctyle. Where is my picture? What about your protector, Agent Jay? I want more pictures!"

Then a lightning bolt came from the sky and crackled niftily.

Oh Rafans who read this page, make your drawings and mail them to the Keeper of Mirth.


Name: The TOT

Date: Monday, April 12, 1999 at 20:55:50
Comments:
Chapter TEN The TOT doeht approve highly of the new E-bible. How about we celebrate this new era of didgital rafanism with a real live FEAST!!!!!!!!? We just need to pick a city to have it in.

Name: KTKOF

Date: Monday, April 12, 1999 at 22:33:46
Comments:

!!Chapter 11!!

Hoo-Ha



KTKOF had an exam today that went pretty well. Not perfect, mind you, but pretty well. He also had a good night's fun with Mirth, who could temporarily be called "Mirth the story-teller," but that's another subject.



And glory went up to haven and bounced back to earth in celebration of the Tot's first glorious chapter in the "E-bible 1."Rafanism is truly at a "high" point. (IYKWIM, "high," you know, like "getting high.") But I digress.



Anyway, may Barney Christ be with you, and may your whatevers be lined with etc.... or something.



KTKOF


Name: Mirth

Date: Tuesday, April 13, 1999 at 09:41:52
Comments:

Chapter 12

And so it was that the Keeper of Friendship's chapter do strange things to the Bible. It did perplex the Keeper of Mirth much. Does anyone else see things in a script font after chapter 11? Mighty strange.


Name: KTKOF

Date: Thursday, April 15, 1999 at 17:45:52
Comments:

CHAPTER 13

a SECRET MESSAGE:

Three points to the Rafan triangle:

Sustenance,

Beauty,

Mirth.

Hoo-Ha

Rafans Rule!

(Good Luck)


Name: Mirth

Date: Thursday, April 15, 1999 at 18:24:45
Comments:


Chapter 14



And so dids't the Keeper of Friendship's previous chapter wreak havok across the land, for if any one person who posts a chapter in a font that the reader does not have on their computer, weird characters shall appear instead of text. It's a good thing the the Keeper of Mirth can view the text without needing the font... He's the "keeper" of this web site! ;-P



I recommend that we either have a list of certain "friendly" fonts to use, or have a separate page where anyone can download special fonts that we have/will use. Wot say ye, Rafans?


Name: mirth

Date: Friday, April 16, 1999 at 16:24:09
Comments:

Chapter 15

And so it was that the Keeper of Mirth's forced vacation dids't come to an end, with the call from his employer telling him that he should come back. This poses a new problem.... the Keeper of Mirth may not be able to go on tour this summer now.....


Name: The TOT

Date: Saturday, April 17, 1999 at 04:21:41
Comments:

Chapter 16

The TOT doeth remind the Keeper of mirth that goin on the Phish tour will be a religous experience and that he must do whatever it takes to get there especially since he already ordered tickets. gosh darnit


Name: Mirth

Date: Saturday, April 17, 1999 at 09:37:07
Comments:

Chapitre Dix-Sept

The Keeper of Mirth dids't realise the religious experience that he coulds't be missing out on. However, he will not be able to use any vacation time until August. However, Mirth's wife has already stated that she believes he will take the new Rafan Party Machine with him on tour...

YEEOW!!!!


Name: dr. benway
sumguy@iname.com

Date: Saturday, April 17, 1999 at 13:24:04
Comments:
How can I belong if I am short?

Name: KTKOF

Date: Saturday, April 17, 1999 at 16:13:55
Comments:

Chapter 18



The Keeper of Friendship did feel great sorrow for the plight of Mirth. There was much of the weeping and the rambling and howling angrily at the heavens and such. But KTKOF knew that Rafanism would prevail. This trick of the DeathFuckers must be stopped so that Mirth can be freed for Phish. I'm sure that Barney Christ will somehow prevail.

Anyway, with Mirth in mind, I propose a Rafan prayer/ poemem::::::::



Work, work, work, work

Play Play

Work, work, work, work

Play Play

Work, work, work

Play Play Play

Work, work

Play.


Name: KTKOF

Date: Sunday, April 18, 1999 at 17:35:25
Comments:

Chapter 19



Hello, my fellow Rafans. We draw quite near to the great day of 4/ 20. Of course, 4/ 20 is not a holiday created by Rafans, but it is celebrated by all of Rafan spirit. So I say to you in advance: hers is to a happy 4/ 20. May your bowls be filled and may Barney Christ and The Snooze and Agent Jay and all the rest be with you.



So ends chapter 19

Hoo-Ha


Name: The TOT

Date: Sunday, April 18, 1999 at 22:56:18
Comments:
Chapter 20 The TOT sits with mixed emotions. I'm sad because my good friend The Spirit won't be returning to the birthplace of rafanism as origionally hoped. But I amd happy that he wont be coming back because he got a REAL PAYING ACTING JOB!!!!! A-Fillee-Hee-Cat!! to The Spirit from The TOT on your new gig.

Name: Mirth

Date: Sunday, April 18, 1999 at 23:34:14
Comments:

Chapter 21

The Keeper of Mirth dids't give many congratulations to the Spirit. Huzzah! Now of I only could have gone down to Chicago..... The Keeper of Mirth also would'st also like to welcome the newest Rafan into our midst - Jo Jo the Wonder Somethingorother!

So Ends 21

Name: Buttercup

Date: Monday, April 19, 1999 at 00:11:14
Comments:
<b><center>Chapter 22 Friends, rafans, honeymelons..lend me your ears, for this weekend I was truely one of the blessed. I was once down and out in the birth place of Rafanism. But now I have been healed by the holy hands of Barney Christ. By his guidance, I was visited by not one but two of my fellow Rafans, from which I had not heard a whole hell of a lot. The ToT and The Keeper of Mirth did enter my field once more to bring me the joy and meaning of what it is to be a Rafan, as well as re-induct an old member, now known as Jo Jo the Wonder Somethingorother. We laughed, adventured, and saw the most Jerry Springer like fight. Ahhh, it was good to be back. Buttercup HOO HA!!!!

Name: The TOT

Date: Monday, April 19, 1999 at 00:36:57
Comments:
Chapter 23

The TOT doe'th anxiously await the arrival of his and The Keeper of Friendship's PHISH tickets. Are other Rafans going? We would like to get a heap of our brethern together for a massive feaste at the Alpine Valley show in late July. Let me or either of the Keepers know if you want to go so we can make plans.


Name: KTKOF

Date: Tuesday, April 20, 1999 at 00:05:24
Comments:

Chapter 24



And with a strike of the clock, a perfectly clear space opened in the clouds, in the center of the sky. A hand reached down, not just any hand, but a hand roughly the size of Rhode Island belonging to one Barney Christ reached down from the heavens. The hand threw mountainous piles of the most holy herb in all directions. Next a booming voice came from the sky (with the barking of a playful pup in the background).

The voice said, "I, Barney Christ, savior to all those of the Rafan Spirit, do declare this day to be Four-Twenty!! All those of the Rafan Spirit are to celebrate like the Dickens or else..."

Barney didn't finish saying what would happen if Rafans didn't celebrate.

With this the hand exited to the heavens and the clouds closed up the hole. It was the dawn of another Four-Twenty, and who knew what would become of it?



...TO BE CONTINUED...


Name: Mirth

Date: Tuesday, April 20, 1999 at 09:25:24
Comments:

 

Chapter 25

 

 

And so the most holy of all holidays dids't come. The Keeper of Mirth dids't enjoy the significance of this day much greatly on his way in to work this morning. Also this morning was the last time the Keeper of Mirth would see his car. Ah, the good old Reliant, I will never have to wonder what that sound is and where it is coming from again! Much time was spent removing personal items from the vehicle, including stereo equipment. In the end, it will be all good, since the Keeper of Mirth woulds't be bringing home a new Rafan Party Machine!!!

Who is this guy in my car???

 

Hoo HA!!! Rafans, Hoo Ha!

 


Name: Mirth

Date: Tuesday, April 20, 1999 at 13:52:35
Comments:

 

Chapter 26

 

The Keeper of Mirth dids't wish every Rafan a very happy 420! Get stoned off your gourd!


Name: Barney Christ

Date: Tuesday, April 20, 1999 at 13:54:48
Comments:

Chapter 27

 

420-24-7


Name: Mirth

Date: Tuesday, April 20, 1999 at 13:57:16
Comments:

Chapter 28

And the Keeper of Mirth dids't note that on this day, 4/20/99 the Banner ad for the Rafan Homepage was't displayed for the 420th. time on someone else's website! Yay!!!!!


Name: Barney Christ

Date: Tuesday, April 20, 1999 at 16:39:49
Comments:

Chapter 29

RAFANS I'm so proud of you all. You have mastered the tools of your age and used them to bring my words to the masses. Keep up the good work and remember --Don't have sex with your roommates, it will only lead to trouble for everyone---

BARNEY IS CHRIST!


Name: The TOT

Date: Tuesday, April 20, 1999 at 16:45:52
Comments:

Chapter 30

The TOT doe'th wish all ye Rafans a very merry 420!

HOO-HA!!!!!!!!

The music store magically finished repairing my bass today! I'ts a week early, and cost half what I expected!!!!!!!

Name: KTKOF

Date: Tuesday, April 20, 1999 at 23:55:44
Comments:

Chapter 31



The story of 4/ 20 (cont.)



And so the day of four twenty went great for some, good for others, and was generally groovy. In the evening, right before the hour of midnight, a small hole opened in the sky. Well, it appeared small from earth, but was really pretty big. A really pretty big eye peered through the hole, scanning miles of land for signs of merriment. The owner of the eye saw a little partying here and there, and a lot of smoking. Just to make sure that people were having a good time on the holy day, the owner of the eye reached down to earth and plucked a tiny human from the ground.

"Ahhhhhhh... Don't hurt me you giant monster," the human screamed, but then realized that the giant was Barney Christ.

"Ohhhhhhh, hey Barney! Hoo-Ha!" the human said.

"And Hoo-Ha to you, Friendship," Barney Christ replied.

"So why did you pluck me from earth anyway?" Friendship asked.

"Oh, just wanted to smoke a Four Twenty bowl before midnight."

With that the pair was rushed ever so slowly at the speed of light to a magical Land. Fields of the finest, most beautiful cannabis stretched in every direction. As the Keeper of Friendship and Barney walked through the fields, their skin became coated with a hash-like resin from the mature flowering females. In the middle of the field was a small clearing with a blanket and picnic basket on the ground. Barney produced a glass hookah from the basket and packed it with perfectly cured, sticky, green buds.

The rest was more or less a blur but definitely involved flying through space, ninja monkeys, a backwards talking land and about 75 pizzas. After Friendship was thoroughly partied out, Barney picked him up, opened a hole in the clouds and pre pared to set him on earth.

"Oh, one last thing friendship," Barney said. "There are some who would like to think that Rafanism is at its end, but you know better. Rafanism has just begun. Hoo-Ha and a holy A-Fille-Hee-Cat."



May you have many 4/ 20s to come!!!!


Name: The TOT

Date: Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 11:27:20
Comments:

Chapter 32

I actually had a dream about packing a bowl last night. I had this huge bud, I't was dark green with a bright orange center and it was so sticky and resious that the whole dream was of me trying to manipulate it into the bowl, the entire time I was scraping amber colored hash off of my hands and arms. -mmmmm sticky kind bud, I think I'm going to go back to sleep now.

Name: Scorpi

Date: Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 12:38:46
Comments:

Chapter 33

A day not yet known to will hold another mind expanding journey.

Old and new concepts will meld and terms will be explained. The negative connotations of a sacred holiday will cease to be a justification of chaos and all the brothers and sisters worldwide will scatter the beans gathered with care throughout the year.

Our host for the annual spring gathering awaited our arrival. The Keeper of Mirth announced his arrival at my gates using his tele-communicator.

"Come forth and ride to the festivities in yonder dark chariot, Infinitely fine in all its accessories and splendor."

With a greeting to my fellow guardians of higher sensibilities and a high five for the slammin ride, we were off to pass the night away in glee and easy vibrations.

The elder spoke of many new and awe inspiring events of that day. We attempted to mentally prepare ourselves to the herbal ital being passed about.

We were not prepared.


Portions of this site last updated 01/28/2000. Try to find where!
All material contained within Copyright 2000 rafansrule.org 


Name: KtKoF

Date: Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 23:36:27
Comments:

 

Chapter 34

 

 

For the first time the Keeper of Friendship could make a bible entry from work. Work computers have internet explorer, but some kind of daft version that refused to read the page. BUT, the new Netscape version works fine with work computers' Netscape. Hurrah for technology. The nice thing about writing in the bible at work is not have to worry about my roommates picking up the phone and killing my connection. It's also more like the old days of Rafanism when we wrote in the Bible primarily to kill time while bored in class. You see, I'm bored now, so I'm rambling incoherently to kill tyime. I believe that killing time inspires the greatest art and technology of human society.

Hoo HA!!!

 


Name: Mirth

Date: Thursday, April 22, 1999 at 16:21:00
Comments:

Chapter 35

The Keeper of Mirth dids't agree that the Bible was a great source of entertainment whils't one was bored. It still is. However, it's gotten better because now we don't have to fight about who has the bible and who's getting it next. We can all have it at the same time!


Name: The TOT

Date: Thursday, April 22, 1999 at 21:16:09
Comments:

Chapter 36

The TOT dids't audition for a band yesterday, it went pretty well and although I'm not "in" they did ask me to come back and jam some more next week. Their called strawberry square and you can check them out at http://www.sberrysquare.com. Also, While hanging out at The Chameleon's apartment today I discovered that Buddy Miles is not only playing in K-town, he's sleeping at Mamma and Pappa Rafans house this week. Hoo-Ha, I hope I get to jam with him.

Name: Barney Christ

Date: Thursday, April 22, 1999 at 19:56:53
Comments:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIRTH. HAPPY HOLY RAFAN DAY, RAFANS!!! HOO-HA

Name: Spoongirl (aka Spoonerism)

Date: Friday, April 23, 1999 at 12:23:04
Comments:
And Lo, while sifting through the grains of that great eternal beach that is the Internet, the Spoongirl came upon an autopsy of Jerry Garcia. And it was gross. But strangely transfixing. Here

Name: Coctyle

Date: Friday, April 23, 1999 at 13:48:54
Comments:

Just wanted to tell you Rafans about the COCAINE... Oh, sorry, I ment the VALIUM


Name: Mirth

Date: Friday, April 23, 1999 at 15:04:06
Comments:

Chapter 40

Greetings, Rafans. Here is a birthday poemem (yes, a real poemem) from the Keeper of Mirth:

 

Sunshine

Cloudy day,

Rainy day,

Windy day.

Feeling the engine

Through the eager gearshift

I find myself flying

At

Unbelievable speeds.

Sunbeams, sunshine,

Rain dries up

Until all is warm with the

Soft touch of the light.

Beautiful day.

 

Now, I'm going to go and get coctyle!



Portions of this site last updated 01/28/2000. Try to find where!
All material contained within Copyright 2000 rafansrule.org