The Rafan Electronic Bible 1

Oldest chapters are at the bottom.

Name: Mirth

Date: Monday, August 2, 1999 at 13:03:31

Chapter 71

And so it was that the Keeper of Mirth woulds't be relieved of his position as a lazy State employee. But all was well, for he soon was hired to be the right hand of god at a medium sized insurance company! In fact, at this exact moment he is writing this chapter from the proxy server he recently brought up so his co-workers would have access to the Internet!!! Woo-Hoo!

Of course, the Keeper of Mirth dids't like this position much much more than the State, since he has his own office with two windows and a door! Thusly allowing himself to hide if need be. Alas, the Keeper dids't need to finish up this chapter, so he could pursue the finer things in life (there's not much more than writing in the ol' Bible, let me tell you!).

Later, Rafans! :-P

Name: The TOT

Date: Sunday, August 1, 1999 at 16:12:03

Chapter 70

And The Rafans dids't travel to a great concert and "get down" in many different ways. Though not all of their experiences were happy ones, the overall vibe was uplifting. The most important thing ,though, is that the newest Rafan Party Machine passed it's road test thus allowing the TOT and The Chameleon to embark on a great adventure. soon.

Name: mr Bungle
stubb a (dubb)

Date: Monday, July 5, 1999 at 22:49:22

Dahg Rastubfari - do you know That you're a fucking dog? If you can hear me, then throw up Give me a sign And I'll throw a stick, bring it back Roll over and die You taught me a lesson - thanks mom!


Date: Monday, July 5, 1999 at 19:33:12

Chapter 67

And after a long absence from the electronic world, the Keeper of Friendship didst show himself. There was much to recount about the great trip to South Dakota, but the story is best told in Bible 6, so if you're a REAL Rafan, you'll read it in there. Maybe we'll put it online eventually... if we feel like it.

Name: The TOT

Date: Friday, June 18, 1999 at 19:06:13

Chapter 66

TONIGHT! TONIGHT! TONIGHT! The TOT, The Spirit, The Keeper of Friendship, and The Imp leave on a holy Rafan cruisade to meet the HOO-HA grandpa.


Date: Wednesday, June 16, 1999 at 01:08:55

Chapter 65

clammy blammy strompf con blarny fee fo fumming liks ton darnig likky lik stre blo tummy kikky kik bre no nummy frap my trap o blee blo bummy crap trap ................. K-town NINGA


Date: Wednesday, June 16, 1999 at 01:00:59


Date: Wednesday, June 16, 1999 at 01:00:31

Name: TheTOT and Sol-Lotus

Date: Tuesday, June 15, 1999 at 01:52:34

Chapter 64

And so it came to pass that The TOT's parents left town for a week and he did pretend he was still in high school and he did throw a party and it was good. And thus, a two day feaste ensued. There was Booze, Wild Palms, legos, Extacy, weed, long walks in the rain, loud music, strawberry shortcake, lots of sleeping (And it should be well noted that all sleeping was performed inbetween and not during much drugs and merry making.), and puking. All was well een tho there was no disco dancing or Wild Sex in the Tots MOMS bed. (As per her request) Most importantly, though, in a ceremony performed by The TOT and The Keeper of Friendship, two new rafans have joined the ranks. The Lieutenant, and Special K (K for short) A-Fillee-hee-Cat!!!! to our newest rafans on all their adventures.

Name: The TOT

Date: Friday, June 11, 1999 at 04:00:15

Chapter 63

And so it came to pass that the Rafans of K-town halted their summer unemployment bliss and once again joined the ranks of productive society. The TOT, The Keeper of Friendship, The Chameleon, and close friend and Rafan at heart the Lutenant dids't venture unto the land of solid carbon dioxide and sabrina the teenage witch pops. A blunt smoking man named Pete, then did issue said Rafans small white trucks with bad alternators and no working guages and commanded them to go forth and take money from small children.


Later that night

After a hard days toil, the Rafans gathered unto The Chameleon's pad along with Soloman, and The Little Friend to smoke many bowls and appease the nintendo gods. They did relate the tales of the days adventures and marvel upon the depths of human stupidity.
Occasionally, The Chameleon would mutter something about a big worm and giggle uncontrollably.
The Keeper of Friendship breathed in too much co2 and died.
The TOT spent all of his money on weed, pizza, and hookers
The Lutenant suffered post traumatic stress syndrom from The TOT's driving.

Though each of the Rafans reacted differently to their experience, they all knew that they would never get that fucking music out of their heads.


Name: Buttercup

Date: Thursday, June 10, 1999 at 19:11:35

Chapter 62

Boys and girls, I've read the pages of this bible as they have been presented to me by this "browser". You all seem to be craving for a


to be held. I happen to be willing to hold one. Please come to enjoy my hospitality next Saturday.

Name: Buttercup

Date: Thursday, June 10, 1999 at 19:11:23

Chapter 62

Boys and girls, I've read the pages of this bible as they have been presented to me by this "browser". You all seem to be craving for a


to be held. I happen to be willing to hold one. Please come to enjoy my hospitality next Saturday.

Name: Buttercup

Date: Thursday, June 10, 1999 at 19:10:36

Chapter 62

Boys and girls, I've read the pages of this bible as they have been presented to me by this "browser". You all seem to be craving for a


to be held. I happen to be willing to hold one. Please come to enjoy my hospitality next Saturday.

Name: Buttercup

Date: Thursday, June 10, 1999 at 18:45:50

YES!!YES!!YES!! I finally figured out what the hell was wrong with this crazy thing. What the hell do I do now??? Celebrate in the tradition that I was taught.


Name: Mirth

Date: Tuesday, June 8, 1999 at 02:56:15

Chapter 60!

The Keeper of Mirth dids't decide to add a chapter to the Bible during his most haneous late-night shift at work. As you'll all see, my chapter will be posted somewhere around 3AM. Why, one might ask? Because Mirth's boss is EVIL, and is surely the leader of the Death Fuckers!

Alas, what to do now? With all the work allotted for the shift being completed, Mirth struggles with what to do for the next three hours. Suggestions?

To whomever may read this chapter in the next week, you are invited to ride along with me to Chi-ville this weekend to visit the Spirit!

Only 4 more days until tickets go onsale for Phish this summer! I WILL get my tickets!


Name: mirth

Date: Wednesday, June 2, 1999 at 16:21:29

4:20! WooHoo!

Name: The TOT

Date: Sunday, May 30, 1999 at 04:17:57

(bag crinkilng) (The smell of fresh Kind) (The sound of a few ripe seeds rolling down a tray) (roll roll) (roll roll) GAFFLE! start over (roll roll) (roll roll) perfect! (click click) (sizzle) (the faintest smell of burning paper) (the overpowering, intoxicating perfume of buring pot) Puff Puff (cough) and The TOT doe'th pass the E-Jay to the right. HOO-HA and HAPPY 4:20!

Name: Barney Christ

Date: Sunday, May 30, 1999 at 04:03:37

Chapter 57


Last night, two Rafans tried to find a bag..... AND FAILED! Dum Dum Dum. Thats right boys and girls, the Deathfuckers are at it again.

(blood curdling scream)

Hey settle down over there, it's not the end of the world. The One Called EVIL can be defeated and you Rafans have the one weapon that can do it;



You do know what Rafan Magic is don't you?
Oh man, where have you people been? Ok, never mind that now, it goes something like this. The power of Rafanism stems from the magical bond of friendship. The key to unlocking this power is conversation, communication, the sharing of ideas and ideals. When Rafans converse, the energy of their spirits creates a momentum of it's own, and becomes a radiant squirming coil. If manipulated correctly, this coil then blasts the Deathfuckers from existance and makes buds fall from the sky like rain. So go forth, ye Rafans, call a friend that you've fallen out of touch with, maitain your contacts and ye shall prosper.

Uh oh, Dad's calling. It's time for me to go smoke a bowl before dinner. Take care and Remember; your Rafans and Rafans Rule!

Name: The TOT

Date: Tuesday, May 25, 1999 at 15:01:45

Chapter 56

The TOT doe'th think it time to bring Bible 6 back to the birthplace.

Name: mirth

Date: Friday, May 21, 1999 at 15:44:59



Post it.

How you taunt me

With your incessant

Fluorescent messages.

"Call me!"

"Do this!"

"Don’t forget the milk."

Post its,

My evil

Second memory.



Work (or the lack thereof)


Can’t do nothin’

All day.

Ain’t allowed to play.

Sit at your desk

Stare at your screen

Watch, as the




Name: The TOT

Date: Saturday, May 15, 1999 at 13:32:31

Chapter 54

And so it came to pass that on his day off, The TOT dids't recieve tickets to both deer creek shows! making him estatically happy.
Yesterday, Saul dids't visit. K-town to say his goodbyes and bring The Chameleon a futon. The TOT thinks that Saul and Gwen are total Rafan material, and although they are leaving we need to try and keep in touch with them. Now The TOT must finish his laundry and go where the frisbees fly!

Name: Mirth

Date: Friday, May 14, 1999 at 16:13:41

Chapter 53

And so it was that the Keeper of mirth dids’t write this chapter to eat up time before the end of his shift. Why? You ask, since he is a state employee and should have more work than he knows what to do with? Well, folks, lets just say that extenuating circumstances have it that the type of work Mirth does has been forbidden at his work until further notice.

All things being same, the keeper of mirth dids’t wish to use this time to bid a fond farewell to two great people who should be rafans: Saul and gwen. Alas, they have left us, gone to a place where it is warm year round.

So, rafans, when you think of them, remember to light a phattie. They are great friends to have.

And so the time came where the keeper of mirth could finally sneak out from work early. Why waste a perfect Friday?

Name: Reverend MB

Date: Wednesday, May 12, 1999 at 01:17:26

Self Appointed Rafan Minister of Herbal
Universal Life Church Official Seal This is to certify that the bearer hereof

Reverend Monkey Butt

has been ordained this Eleventh day of May, 1999.
Official Signature

HEADQUARTERS: 601 3RD ST., MODESTO, CALIF. 95351 (209) 527-8111

Name: Time Questioner...hey, what time is it?

Date: Wednesday, May 12, 1999 at 01:03:57

Herb and fruits

Ahhhhh shiiitt

Yeah baby, herb,

Buds to dream on

I’m so high

So let me come with the flow that your ass can jump with

Pump with, hump with

Shake your monkey rump with

Ya never know what to expect

So drop the pre-conceptions

And vibe up in dis heah session

No question


That’s how the Rafans do

Serving up the love the fruits inspire in this crew

Stylistically defying classifications

Striving for herbal meditations

Soul medications


Date: Monday, May 10, 1999 at 15:42:04

Chapter 51

And so the Keeper of Friendship did mightily smite-ily his first final exam, and was now, in celebration, COCTYLE. Of course, the Keeper wouldn't know for sure how he did in the exam for a couple of weeks but, being awesome and all, he felt he probably did pretty good.

The Keeper of Friendship only had three more exams before his return to The (one and only) Rafan Birthplace. Of course, he would probably hang around in his current home for an indefinite period of time in order to throw circular objects at stationary targets and such, but that, in itself, is, as they have been known to say, an entirely different and unique subject for conversational discourse.

And so it was a time of change for KTKOF, but such is the Rafan way. He would return to the land of the Keepers in fall, but would probably move somewhere else after he graduates. It is unfortunate that the Rafan principles of friendship and adventure are so often in conflict. All Rafans love to travel and seak new places, but this can divide the Rafan community. I think this tells us two things. First, it is very important to make new Rafans wherever you go. For, we are not truly alone when those of the Rafan Spirit are around, we simply must seek them out. Second, it tells us that we must stay in contact with our old Rafan companions. We must see each other often and be parts of each others lives. It is, of course, a small world.


Name: Mirth

Date: Thursday, May 6, 1999 at 16:24:30

Chapter 50!!!

The Keeper of Mirth woulds't like to say that he will be unable to go to the Rafan Homeland this weekend to partake in any feasting activites..... :-(

Name: The TOT

Date: Thursday, May 6, 1999 at 00:57:10

Chapter 49

The TOT is most excited to hear that Rafans will be in town this weekend. We will have to feast as only rafans truely know how. Speaking of which, there is a party this friday at the bar where MOMO works. They had one last week for someones birthday. There were Djs and lots of fancy lights and smoke machines. There was dancing and drinking and smoking(out in the parking lot). It went so well that they might start diong it every week. Many Rafans will be there, possably enough to outnumber the so called "normal people" It should be a blast.

Keeper, What type of crazy summer adventure did you have in mind?????
We already have to go to Phish and have a zaney road trip to The Spirit's homeland.


Date: Wednesday, May 5, 1999 at 23:49:14

Chapter 48- Is Great!

And that time did come once again for your friend the Keeper of Friendship to write a CHAPTER IN THE BIBLE AT WORK.

BUT... just when you thought you could get used to this pattern, haha, now I will announce that this will be the LAST Wednesday- night- from- work- computer- chapter- entering for the Keeper of Fr. What with the semester ending, this will be the last night of KTKOF's university job until some future semester to be named at a later date.

But what, you may or may not ask, will KTKOF do now? Good question, replies KTKOF. For this weekend, he will plan to party down with multiple rafans, including one formerly absent Warlock, in the comfortable confines of one rafan birthplace. HOO-HA. After that, the Keeper will return to The daily grind of education to finish finals. then comes


Well, maybe that's a lttle dramatic, but KTKOF must decide what to do for summer. He may decide to lounge in the Rafan birthplace, or maybe convince some Rafans to emvark on a great youthful adventure. (Hint, hint, Rafans with no serious commitments this summer. Tot, I'm looking in your direction.) It would have to be an adventure capable of money making potential, but that not really that limiting, when you think about it. Anyway, time for me to figure out how to do some homework problems and such, so with a HOO-HA, I wish you good day.


Date: Monday, May 3, 1999 at 17:46:41

Chapter 47

The Keeper Of Friendship was also quite happy to see the Warlock post a chapter. How grand it would be if more Rafans posted chapters unexpectedly (or expectedly for that matter). The Keeper planned on being in the original Rafan home this weekend and hoped to party down.

Wouldn't it be awful if your stash could just walk away?

Of course, if that were possible, perhaps some stash could just walk up to your door and say, "HIGH!!"

Name: Mirth

Date: Monday, May 3, 1999 at 10:51:18

The Keeper of Mirth dids't like the idea of a Feast in K-Town this weekend. He dids't have one problem, and that was with his niece and mother-in-law coming up this weekend for an (yuck) N'SYNC show!!! AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Perhaps I need an excuse to make myself scarce...

Name: Mirth

Date: Monday, May 3, 1999 at 10:45:03

?Chapter 46?

It dids't make the Keeper of Mirth happy to see old Rafans drop by the page and write chapters. What has happened to our Sex Mistress, or the Shadowcat? Where have they gone? They are on the Rafan mailing List, but never respond to messages, post chapters. Why have these Rafans disappeared? When will they be back? No one can tell.

Name: Ben Holmes

Date: Sunday, May 2, 1999 at 08:46:44

This is the High priest of the semi-old school, co-progener of the mystical "Fuckin' A", inductor of such Rafans as King Fuct and Princess Tendrilla, yeah and I know AJ pretty good to, The Warlock. I, on a chariot of bad smells and unshowered people, will be returning to the midwest to take up new residence. My fast is done, and we need a party. May 7th. Think on it.

Name: The TOT

Date: Friday, April 30, 1999 at 14:10:11

Chapter 44


One sunny beautiful day, The TOT had to go back to his old apartment up north to get a big fat tax refund check. So he got up early and filled his car with cigarettes and gas and weed and a cd player and his rafan friends; The Chameleon and The Little Friend, and they all hit the highway. The drive to The TOT's old apartment was a plesant one, they smoked many bowls and listened to a groovy cd The Chameleon had brought called "Happy Trails". After getting a few things and stopping at the bank, our Rafan Friends decided to go to a nearby frisbee golf course, but first, chameleon dids't give the other Rafans communion. The TOT got a deuce on a par five with a 30 ft, tomahawk, over a few trees, flip over, spin around, fall down, hit the chains, fall in the basket, with witnesses kind of shot. If you understand this last sentence, than you probobly understand how he felt about it. After a relaxing yet envigorating game, The Rafans went to a fantastic park only to be immediately swarmed by a horrable cloud of lake flies. The Rafans pressed on, determined to play on all the groovy playground equiptment, and convincing themselves that the bugs would get better. But the bugs got worse. About the time the chameleon hit a solid wall of tiny gnats and all the Rafans were well above the recommended daily allowance of protein, they realized their folley and made a mad dash back to the car. At this point, thuroughly disgusted with The TOT's former homeland, they took off for the land of the Keepers. After a plesant drive (except for the nazi cop who tailgaited The TOT's car, even changing lanes like a mad man just to stay on their collective asses for a little over twenty miles without ever turning on his lights, dick) they reached their destination. They threw another round of frisbee golf and, though this was The Little Friend's first experience with a disc and a pin, he did really well. They threw discs untill the sun was going down, and then went to visit a man well known to the Rafans in that city. There was much smoking and they consumed many liters of water. The man gave Chameleon a new glass bowl for his girlfriend. The TOT found a guitar to play with and was happy. Eventually, The Keeper of Mirth dids't arrive and show everyone his new Infinity. Unfortunately, not long after that, it was time to head back to k-town. and a few hours later, the road trip ended.


Date: Thursday, April 29, 1999 at 01:09:34

chapter 43

And now its time for the one and only... KTKOF writes a chapter at work...(yeah, whoopie) Well, what to say, what to say... It is an exciting time as the semester of school comes to a close. KTKOF has much to finish up, but after that is

SUMMER TIME OHHHHHH Yeah Next issue... I'm been thinking a lot lately about Rafan proverbs. Some I've thought of are "Things are different." "...And this from a man who talks to God." Can anyone else think of others. Maybe we should have a section on the page for Rafan proverbs and expressions.

A quite jolly HOO-HA


Name: Scorpi

Date: Monday, April 26, 1999 at 10:53:29

Yo… Yo, Yo, Yo….yo….yo, yo


I have got to get away from Half Life

So says the woman known as my wife

She did not understand that Gordon is the man

And I am but meat to the gnashing ham dogs…..

Oh why can't she see

That just because I stay up to four a.m.

Doesn't automatically make me an addict

Don't worry baby, those dark circles under my eyes ain't from being down,

I'm just chilling in the Black Mesa Compound.


Whats that sound

It's the keeper of Mirth with news about his new toy -

Lucky boy….Lucky Boy

What you talkin bout fool, I ain't heard of no scsi card

Man, I don't know you!!!

Get off my back!!!

Why don't you ever listen to me…

Ok, I give it back…….Tommorow J

Name: The TOT

Date: Friday, April 23, 1999 at 21:31:41

Chapter 42

And our prayers were answered

Name: The TOT

Date: Friday, April 23, 1999 at 20:42:08

chapter 41

The Deathfuckers are at it again. Here I sit at Buttercup's place trying to find a bag. He's been trying all day. thus I offer a prayer of hope:
Oh barney christ

Let us on this day of

going to see Buddy Miles

rock Hussey's bar

find the most holy of

holy smoke


Portions of this site last updated 01/28/2000. Try to find where!
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